Self Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

On Monday I ordered some mothers day stuff online and then left my credit card on my desk. Then on the way home I stopped at the bank and put my bank card and cash in the pocket of my jeans as I left. Tuesday I noticed my credit card on my desk and thought, "What a terrible place for my credit card!" So I put it in the pocket of my (different pair) of jeans.

This morning Jack and I headed to the grocery store and as I was getting in the car I hit my head. Hard. Why were we going to the grocery on Wednesday when Wednesday is clearly laundry day and not grocery day? Well because I needed stain stick, because the stain stick I have fell behind the dryer, and when I asked Dave to get it for me, he suggested that I add stain stick to my grocery list. I also needed some yummy bread for our picnic at the park this evening. And yes, I know it is raining, but I have picnic on the park on the agenda for this evening and the agenda cannot be changed.

I think I was still a little woozy from my head injury when we arrived at the grocery store, and I decided that I couldn't bear to lug the car seat around with me so I should just put Jack in the sling. But the sling was at home, so I decided to carry him, as that would prevent me from getting anything that wasn't on the list. Like a donut. Minutes later, in the self checkout, with a baby on my hip, wallet in hand, stain stick in Jack's hands and a loaf of bread balanced on my knee, I remembered that my credit card, bank card, and cash were in the other two pairs of jeans that I own. I did the only thing that was really possible in that sort of situation. I leaned my head back to look up at the heavens and said, "Oh Nooooo! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" As I remember it, I may have even shaken a fist at the Gods, but that doesn't really seem possible because my hands were sort of full. A nice King Soopers self checkout clerk came over to see what the problem was. I explained that I didn't have any money. Then I looked in my wallet, "Oh! I have 2 dollars!" He said, "Let me have those two dollars and we'll see how far that gets you and then I'll see what I can do." I needed another $2.5o or so and then I remembered that I had gotten a roll of quarters for the campground showers at Fruita, and then took only one shower, so I had a 16 quarters too. I just shook a bunch of change into his hand and he fed it all into the self checkout until the bill was paid.

And then he put the stain stick and bread into a bag and I said, "Thanks so much! But I don't need a bag, I gave up grocery store bags as a new years resolution. It's one of the many ways I like to make my life complicated. But thanks so much." And then I made Jack carry the stain stick to the car.


(In retrospect, I now wonder what would have happened if I hadn't come up with the money. An I.O.U? Free stain stick? Would I have had to bag groceries for 10 minutes until I worked off the cost?)