We are slogging through the Milk Memos in the lactation room, and I had planned to give a copy to a friend at the daycare with a 3 week old who doesn't want to go back to work. But the more I read it, the more I am not so sure she'll be convinced. I am starting to think it is a good book full of useful tips for women who have made the decision to be back at work. And all views of how you might feel once you have returned are represented, so you can find someone to sympathize with, but the main point of view is how tragic it is to leave your baby. So much so that I was starting to feel guilty because I don't feel that way.
This morning Jack was so cute when I was getting ready that I felt a tiny twinge. But he was still pretty darn cute when I picked him up too. I wonder if my flexible schedule is the reason that I don't feel like going back to work is the worst decision ever. I used to think that only women who were curing cancer or helping the needy should work. Somehow I got past that. The world needs databases administered by women!
But just because I feel like this today, doesn't mean I will tomorrow. Tomorrow I might think, "Wah wah wah. I want to be home all day with my baby." Or I might think, "I wish I was nursing my baby in the bath." Or "I think I'll sweeten my coffee with some breast milk." Wait, what? No I would never think those second two things, those are from the book.
Part of the issue here is that my local circle of working-outside-the-home mommies is very small. In basically includes my lactation room buddy and people I know from the daycare. So calling all role models! Why is working-outside-the-home the right thing for you?
3 comments:
Megan,
I admit to the feelings of guilt because (gasp!) I love working outside the home! I have had moments where I am dropping Cam off at daycare and I wish I was able to drive right by and take him to the park, pop him in the jogging stroller and go for a nice long walk. Or, when I wake up in bed at 6:00am with both kids snuggled in next to me (they somehow gravitate to our bed in the early morning hours) and I wish I could just spend the day doing "mom" things. But, the fact of the matter is that I like working outside the home and most days I don't get weepy when leaving Cam at daycare. I enjoy my job and my friends at work. Like you said, maybe it's easier for me because I have a flexible schedule and I still am able to spend a lot of time with Kels and Cam. I guess having conflicting feelings is just part of being a mom (and I think I'd have just as many conflicting feelings if I was a SAHM!)
I knew I could count on you Danielle! You are probably right about having conflicted feelings no matter what. My problem right now is that I have "Working 9 to 5" in my head. I was just singing it out loud as I took the scenic route back from the lactation room. And yes, I did run into co-workers smoking behind the building and wondered if they heard me.
you are so right about the main theme of that book being the tragedy of not being with the kids 24/7. I couldn't put my finger on why that book was such a downer to read in the milking room. Coming next week: more celeb gossip rags.
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