Saturday, January 31, 2009

You Know You Are a Mom of a ... When ...

You know you are a mom of a infant/toddler in daycare when: You say, "I am just going to wear this sweater again because it already has boogers on it."

What? It's my nice, brand new sweater from Ann Taylor Loft* that I got on sale for $7. If I am going to wash boogers off it, I might as well get two days worth.

It's also the perfect sweater for those 60+ degree January days where you don't know what to wear. A short sleeve sweater! It says, "It's January, but I don't want to get too hot walking to the grocery store" and "I could probably rock a tank top today, but then I would need too much sun screen for my arms."

* I'd link to the sweater, but I can't find it online.

Monday, January 26, 2009


And tomorrow is Wednesday. {Redacted long boring section about how I work all the time at night and on weekends and if I don't get a lot done on a Wednesday I more than make up for it except sometimes people need me to get things done, right then! and I need to do things, right then! regardless of Jack's mood/temper. End redaction. Seriously, it was longer and more boring before I edited this section out.} Jack will often play for a while with his upstairs toys while I sit at the breakfast bar and work. But downstairs is a totally different story. Downstairs is where we keep the real toys. But I can't sit at the desk in the office, or else Jack will want to chew through all the computer wires. And I can't sit on the couch with the laptop on my lap. But if I put the laptop on the landing and stick my arms through the banister, I can work while Jack happily plays. Yeah, so, that is what I do. Last Wednesday, I thought, "This is really crazy. He is so busy playing, why don't I just sit on the couch?" And two seconds later, I heard the rebel yell and Jack was running across the floor and pushing the laptop out of the way to get into my lap. All this time, I have thought that he just wanted to push buttons on my laptop, but if that were the case, why isn't he climbing the stairs to get to it when it's on the banister? I'll tell you why! Because Jack thinks my lap is his lap. So I headed back to the stocks to continue my work day.

Jack can't go to the toddler room until there is space and he can survive on one nap a day. And that means I need to survive on one Jack nap a day. And wouldn't you know it, I need to dial into a meeting tomorrow during morning nap time. Don't worry, as long as I take the call standing up, and let Jack get whatever he wants out of the lazy susan, and allow him to make prank calls on my cell phone then it should be just fine!

Expect a call from a baby tomorrow.

You Say Nuzzle, I say Nosel

If you say to Jack that you want a kiss, and he is feeling accommodating, he will rub his cheek on your cheek. It is very cute. Jack was giving Luke kisses this morning and Luke said, "Mama! He noseling! " I said, "Luke, do you mean nuzzling?" He said, "Yes, I know it's nuzzling, but since you do it with your nose, I call it noseling."

Thursday, January 22, 2009


In case it isn't clear, this is my new niece, Hope. 7 lbs, 14 oz of cuteness.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


The day has finally arrived! And in my office, it's delicious!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Free Day

I have a nasty cold, and upon my cold I lay the blame for what happened today.

Way back last week when I had the brilliant idea to go to the zoo with the boys on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the forecast was for 49 degrees. That seemed like perfect winter zoo weather. We'd dress warmly and check out the indoor exhibits when we were cold. So I made the announcement: We're going to the zoo. A few days ago, the forecast was for 60 + and I thought, "Well, the crowds will be worse, but not everyone gets MLK day off." At that point, I didn't know it was free day at the zoo. And then someone told me, but Luke already knew the plan, and how bad could free day really be? How bad? I'll let the google map from the car to the zoo speak for itself. (OK, instead of letting the map speak for itself, I'll add that it was 9/10 of a mile. We walked for at least 20 minutes from the car to the zoo. We had to stop and get a drink on the way.) Oh, and what I also didn't know until it was way too late, was that the zoo is right next to the park where the Martin Luther King Jr. rally and parade began.

So I guess only a crazy person would go to the zoo on free day, but I have to say, that even though it was insanely crowded, people were very polite and considerate. I didn't feel the need to be mean to anyone's kids and no one felt the need to tell me I was mean. So that was nice. And right when I started to feel the tiniest bit claustrophobic, Luke decided he wanted to leave.

Of course it was at least an hour and a half before we were back at the car, but we had a fun day.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Where in the World is MetaMegan?

Where have I been? Le Sigh. I have been very busy trying to incorporate more cardio into my life and then recovering on the couch for days in front of Six Feet Under marathons. Also I have a bit of a cold.

Dave found coupons to Breckenridge for $10, so we decided to see if there was room for Jack at the daycare this past Wednesday so we could go together. There wasn't room. Cue panic. See, I worked half time from home with Luke until he was about 10 months old. Perfect little Luke who slept until 8 am everyday and took a 2 hour nap every morning. But at 10 months I thought, wow, he really needs more attention and stimulation then I can give him while simultaneously working. So somewhere in the back of my head I have been pondering the fact that Jack is ready for a little more daycare. I ponder this when Jack is hanging from the top rung of the dishwasher, or surfing on his rocking chair. But I have really enjoyed being home with him. I love the time we have had together. I haven't loved that my work day often starts again at 8pm and goes until midnight, or that I have to go into a complete panic if a work problem comes up when Jack doesn't feel like entertaining himself. So when I heard the infant room was full on Wednesdays, I got really worried. I always thought I had Wednesday in my back pocket, ready when I needed it. So, I asked if Jack could start going on Wednesdays when he transitions to the toddler room. Answer: Yes! Hoorah! As much as I love Jack, I felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted. I currently spend every Wednesday working through his naps, and working whenever he feels the desire to play independantly for 3 minutes, and checking email every 5 minutes when he needs more attention, and then working after bedtime every night. So then I said, "Wait, when is Jack moving to the toddler room?" And the answer was, February." And then I was back to, "Wah! My baby! He can't be a toddler yet. Wah wah wah. I'm not ready for him to go to daycare on Wednesdays."

And then yesterday happened. And yes, at one point he was hanging from the top rung of the dishwasher. I'll let the photos tell the rest of the story.

"Poor me, I have to read to myself while my mommy works":

"I'll have this expression on my face later when I climb to the tallest point in every room in the house":

"I can now grab the camera off the kitchen counter and this is how I feel when you take it from me":

"Hey, you turned your back on me to wash a dish. This is what you get. You think I'm kidding? I'll show you!":

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

File Under Odd

There is now a Ruby in the infant room with Jack. I thought that was cute and exciting because there was a Ruby in the infant room with Luke, and they are great friends to this day. When I noticed the name Ruby in the cubby area I said, "Oh! A Ruby! How cute. I wonder if she and Jack will be best friends like Luke and Ruby?" The answer was something like, "Um, she's a new baby. We just try to keep Jack away from her as much as possible." Poor Jack, I think he is so close to outgrowing the infant room. Bittersweet, my baby is growing up, stuff for another post, etc.

But here is the odd thing. I noticed that there is a Ruby because she and Jack share a cubby. I guess maybe because she is the youngest and Jack is on his way out? So this is how their cubby is labelled: Jack Ruby. Is that odd? I find that odd. I guess it would be weirder if Lee, Harvey and Oswald shared a cubby though.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


Some of you readers may be horrified to learn that I am still nursing Jack. The reason is due more to laziness than any other sort of personal choice. I am too lazy to figure out how to wean, and way too lazy to deal with a hungry baby at 5am in some manor that involves more than stumbling into his room and sitting in a chair for 15 minutes. Also, I am sure I read somewhere that babies, on average, have and extra IQ point for every month they nurse past 6 months. OK, maybe I am making that up, but it sounds good, right?

I have also been reading online debates here and there about extended breastfeeding and whether it is "good" and "what everyone else in the world does" and "makes your kids smarter" or if it's "icky" and "weird" and "not normal." I often see the comment, "When they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old." Jack does not do the sign for milk, or please, or more when he wants to nurse. He doesn't say any of those words either. In the morning, well, we are both pretty sleepy, so he communicates with some whimpers. In the evening, if it has gotten to be past bedtime, he mostly just grabs my neckline and starts growling. So, my opinion on the whole extended breastfeeding (don't know the actual meaning of the term - it may mean past two years) besides, "why would anyone care what someone else is doing?" is "A polite request would seem like an improvement over the growling."

In other news, our basement is sort of a mess, and at the moment is not baby proof so we really need to keep an eye on Jack. As he headed for the end table today, Luke grabbed the remotes, Dave got the glass bottle, and I grabbed my nail polish and hid it somewhere. My pocket? Behind my back? Jack was very mad about all this, so I picked him up and started to try to console/distract him. He started growling and tugging on my shirt, so I started to nurse him. He nursed for a while. Then he got up and walked away.

He had the nail polish in his hand.

Maybe those extra IQ points aren't such a good idea after all.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Megan without a G

Megan without a G is mean. As in, "Megan doesn't have her G today!" a common lament heard throughout my childhood. OK, so I am mean. I considered making a new years resolution to be nicer but immediately dismissed the idea. I think some of my humor comes from a tiny mean streak that I have, and I don't want to lose my sense of humor. Exercising and eating right seem like more attainable resolutions anyway. I only had four cookies today so I am off to a great start.

If you know me, and you don't think I am mean, I am sorry to say that you just haven't known me long enough. One day, you'll think, "Hmm, yeah, I see it now."

Or maybe you won't have to wait that long. Just read on, and see what I mean.

We went to the Aquarium for my birthday and I was sitting with both kids on my lap, posing for a picture in front of the shark tank. It was the area of the aquarium that was the most wide open, with the fewest people and the largest, widest tank you could imagine. I mean, sharks live in there. It was big and spacious. Plenty of room for everyone.

So we were posing, and I had children on my lap and Dave was playing with his phone to get it to take a good picture. And I slowly started to notice a buzzing in my ear. It got louder and louder until I noticed that the source of the buzz was a little child saying, "Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me." Once I could tell that Dave had taken the picture I turned to the child. He said, "Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me." I think he was trying to walk along the edge of the tank from one side to the other. And I was blocking it by sitting there with two children on my lap. On my birthday. I thought about moving, but then I thought, I don't feel like moving this instant. What if the picture didn't take. That kid can just go around. So to his, "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me." I replied, "Oh? Do you need me to move?"

And just then the mom swooped in and scooped him up. To me she said, "Well you didn't have to be so mean to him!"

I said, "Wa? Uh? Wah?"

So if I know that I am mean, but I don't realize that being sarcastic with a 2 year old warrants a tongue lashing from a stranger, apparently its much worse than I thought.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Do Chipmunks Go To Heaven?

There was an incident today. I blame Tami.

Tami and I went to Eldora today. On the first lift ride she told me this crazy story about seeing a squirrel in the middle of a run somewhere. Winter Park? It went something like this:

Tami: It was crazy. I saw a squirrel in the middle of a run at Winter Park.
MetaMegan: That is crazy.
Tami: Yeah, I think it's the only time I have ever seen wildlife when I was skiing. And it was just a squirrel.
MetaMegan: Once I saw a porcupine at Vail.
Tami: Really? That's crazy.
MetaMegan: Yeah, I think that is the only wildlife I have seen,
Tami: I know, you see tracks all the time, but never the animals. I would like to see more animals.

Fast forward a few runs and we were headed to the Corona lift along a terrible, icy, hard packed cat walk. I felt a twinge of guilt that I forgot to tell Tami that you have to go 1000 mph at the start or else run out of steam and fall, and have to take your snowboard partway off and hike to the top of the next hill before you get going for a little bit, but then you aren't going fast enough and it happens again. It's sort of rough. Also, it was 4 degrees. So if you were going fast enough, then any exposed skin started to freeze.

So, I was flying, when out of the woods came a chipmunk. Right at me. There was nothing I could do. So I screamed. And then when I both heard and felt a thud underneath my snowboard I screamed again. And then I turned and looked over my shoulder and I thought I saw a chipmunk hobbling off into the forest. There were two witnesses:

Witness1: I've never seen anything like that.
MetaMegan: Me neither
Wintess1: That was so crazy.
Metamegan: I know.
Witness2: He's going to die, you know.
MetaMegan: It was an accident! There was no way I could have avoided him!
Witness1: You don't even want to know what happened.
MetaMegan: I think someone just told me.
Witness1: Well, I think it was quick at least.

Witness1 (from a distance): OMG - See that girl over there, you are never going to believe this...

Meanwhile I was waiting and waiting for Tami. She finally arrived:

MetaMegan: Whatever happened to you can't be worse that what happened to me.
Tami: I had to take my goggles off because they got steamed up from the tears I was crying.
MetaMegan: You win, what happened?
Tami: I think I broke my tailbone.
MetaMegan: I ran over a chipmunk with my snowboard and killed it.
Tami: Oh my God. Is there blood on your snowboard?

So then Tami and I were on the lift sharing stories of people falling off ski lifts and we realized, if our earlier discussion about wanting to see wildlife conjured a chipmunk out of nowhere, we should choose our subject matter wisely. In fact, we should just leave and nurse our physical and spiritual wounds over a beer in the comfort of my living room. So that is what we did, being careful what we said or thought the whole way home.

In retrospect, it turns out we were pretty lucky that we didn't conjure up any bad ski lift karma.

Saturday, January 3, 2009