Jack has a booger situation. Just lots of boogers. And he doesn't like to have his nose wiped. If he sees you coming with any form of washcloth, tissue, or even napkin he hides his face and it's all over. The best method is usually to hold him in one arm, and sort of trap his hands and wrestle him to the ground with the other arm wielding a wet washcloth. But if I miss, which I do about 80% of the time, then I get a shoulder full of mucus. My latest invention idea (said as if I have ever before come up with an invention) is a terry cloth shoulder/arm band that could act as a secondary mucus receptacle. Or could at least protect my clothing.
In fact, the other day at work someone was talking about which of their kids had the highest fever, and how bad they felt, when I moved as far away as I could in a tiny conference room and then refused to use their pen. I tried to make light of my germaphobia by saying, "No seriously, I just decided I didn't really need a pen after all! I have a little Howard Hughes thing going on. And I probably even have boogers on my shirt, ha ha." Hair toss, non-crazy smile.
"Yeah, you do. I can see it from here."
So today I put a warm wet washcloth over my shoulder and went after Jack with a kleenex. He nuzzled right into the washcloth, yanked his head back and then burrowed into another, unwashclothed covered part of my arm, spreading the wealth all over the place. And I had a wet shoulder. So now I just have to go for plan C: wear t-shirts and do a lot of laundry, and brace myself for a long winter.