File Under: Neglectful Parenting

This is one of those stories I shouldn't share because it makes me look like a bad parent, but here goes.

Today, Jack decided to go to the bathroom all on his own and told us about it afterwords. I was so proud (and surprised)! And when I asked for details about how he did it, he said, "Oh, I just left the door open and just listened to the TV for a minute."

What a problem solver!

Self Esteem, Check!

Today Jack pooped on the potty. I don't know why but I just said, "Great!" instead of singing the song and doing the dance. I was running around with the dog in the back yard yesterday and I tripped over the sprinkler line, flew through the air and landed far away on my side. That might explain my forgetfulness regarding the poop song, and my lack of desire to do the death defying poop dance celebration. No worries, Jack had his own congratulatory session.

"I pooped on the potty and that's impressive. It's incredible. And awesome. It's incredibly awesome."

This is going to sound sort of petty and mean, but I couldn't help but think, "He sure has an impressive vocabulary for someone who frequently craps in his pants."

Lessons, Learned

When you come home from daycare with a plastic bagged filled with a pair of underwear filled with a big turd, your first instinct might be to deal with it immediately, have a drink and forget it ever happened for 24 hours until the same thing happens again.

Word to the wise: Take off your coat and scarf first. Never lean over the toilet to deal with turd filled underwear (henceforth referred to as The Situation) while wearing a beautiful scarf. I can't stress this enough people. While you are taking off your hat and scarf, pour yourself a drink and savor it for 15 minutes and then deal with The Situation. Just don't wait so long that your spouse says, "Did you leave The Situation in the bathroom for me to deal with?" Relax everyone, there will be enough to go around.

Today, In Potty Training

The other day, Jack sat on the potty before nap, and then I put a diaper on him and pulled up his pants. I am trying to keep him in pants that are easy-on/easy-off on the off chance he decides to try to go on his own. We had gone through a few pairs, so the ones he had on were too big and had to be rolled at the waist.

He immediately commenced pre-nap procrastination/fit-throwing.

"Eeeeeh. My PANTS. They aren't UP!"

"Yes they are, honey. Here, I'll straighten them."

"THEY AREN'T UP."

"It probably just feels funny to wear a diaper after having underwear on all day."

"NO!!!! MY PANTS aren't UP. I can't WALK."

"Yes, you can, come on downstairs."

And so on, for the five minutes it took him to walk down to his bedroom. He even stopped once to lean way over to try to figure out what the problem was and almost toppled down the stairs. I grabbed him by the shirt and carried him the rest of the way.

I almost lost my temper, but I am reading a book about happiness and I had a vague memory of some piece of advice and I thought, why lose your temper? So I took a deep breath and said, "OK, maybe I got your diaper on crooked, let me take a look."

And what did I see? Diaper was fine, pants were fine, but I hadn't taken off his underwear and they were around his knees.

I burst into hysterical laughter, and fortunately, he did too.

After nap he said, "Remember before nap, how we were giggling? That was funny."

Here is How It's Done

I was reading stories at bedtime tonight and I was on auto pilot so when Jack said, "Dat what you training me to do?", I said, "Uh? Potty training, what?" But he was pointing to this picture and saying, "When people are bothering me, you are training me to just walk away."

And yes, that was my brilliant parenting advice. Instead of hitting or yelling, just walk away! Please feel free to use this advice.

Name the book for bonus points!

Oh Lucy, Oh Girl

Jack and Lucy are basically litter mates, and they have a very special relationship. Jack likes to pet her, and say, "Oh Lucy, Oh girl." It's nice when the two of them are being adorable at the same time, because at the other end of the spectrum, I am cleaning up poop and trying to determine whose it is through forensic analysis. But that's a story for another day.

The other day when Jack delayed using the potty until it was too late, I said, "Didn't Daddy and I both tell you you needed to try?" And he said, "Well, Lucy told me just to go in my underwear." I said, "Well, who are you supposed to listen to? Daddy and I? Or Lucy?" He said, "Daddy." Ok, close enough. Because Lucy is far from an authority on potty training.

There are obvious benefits to Jack being potty trained, but those won't be realized for a few weeks, at the very minimum. So I am trying to see bright sides on a daily basis. So far, all I have come up with is that if I am doing so much laundry, then I might as well start my New Year's resolution of using cloth napkins all the time. But... that makes it sound like I am washing the cloth napkins with the dirty underwear, and I swear I am not doing that. I am just in the laundry room a lot more often. Seriously.

So, while I am deep in the trenches of this last rite of babyhood, at least we can have a little sophistication at the dinner table. And we are saving the environment too. Yup, potty training is the best thing ever.

Adventures in Potty Training

Man, once I can reflect back on this, there are going to be some funny funny stories. Yup. Some day.

Origami Yoda

A month or so ago, Luke spent an afternoon writing to authors of the books he was reading. One was to Tom Angleberger, the author of The Strange Case of Origami Yoda. The letter was something like,

Dear Mr. Angleberger,

I really like The Strange Case of Origami Yoda because of all the details.

Sincerely,
Luke

I said, "Do you care to elaborate on that?"
Luke said, "Nope."
I said, "Because, if you really like details...."
Luke, "Please hand me an envelope."

This week, a letter arrived for Luke. I said, "Luke, you got some mail." Luke said, "Who is it from?" while barely turning his head away from his wii game. I sighed, because that sort of question makes me feel a tiny bit like Luke's secretary, but I said, "I don't know, the return address looks like a puzzle piece."

He was across the room, shouting, "Remember when I wrote to the author of Origami Yoda!" and ripping open the envelope. It was pretty darn exciting.

We took a bunch of pictures of Luke with Origami Yoda on his finger, including this one, with my new photobooth app.

Birthday Cake

I am happy to report that it has been 10 days since my birthday and I have not lost my phone, I have remembered to charge it every night, and I have remembered to bring it to work with my everyday. This is a miracle. But, um, this is mostly because I am obsessed with my phone and I pnly put it down to charge it at night. I had a franklin planner until December of 2010, so it's sort of a big leap for me into the digital age.

Now, my new camera is another story. It had been lost for 10 days. I knew I took a picture of my cake, so I knew it was in the house... but where? It turns out that it was just safely inside my new, gorgeous, and larger purse. Without the franklin planner, it is so darn roomy in there! Needless to say, I found my camera today, and blogging will now commence.

Don't worry, I added blogging to the "to do list" app on my new phone. I also have the mobile blogging app, but that is best for pictures, I can't go on and on and on like I normally do. (Yet.)

Details - My cake was the no bake icebox cake that Grandma used to make. I ran across it here, and decided it looked great. I made the whipped cream, and the boys helped me stack. I see now that I should have considered offsetting the layers. We had leftover ganache from Grandpa's Traditional Spice Cake with Chocolate Icing, so we threw in a few layers of ganache here and there. It was delish.

Beautiful Day

Huff and Puff

Jack and I tried to make a video of The Big Bad Wolf, and it turned into a series of outtakes, as you would expect. We had huffing and puffing in one, but not "I'm gonna huff, and I'm gonna puff!". In another, we had the dialog, but no action. This one is the best, it has action and a scary wolf face, but no dialog. But I think it gets the message across.

Testing 1 2 3

Testing my mobile blogging capabilities here!