The Library

Once, some Thanksgiving or another, I was wondering where my Grandmother was and, when I asked, someone told me she was in the library. I wandered and wandered and I couldn't find her. I kept wondering which room was the library. How sophisticated! Was there a room in the house that I had never even seen? And it was full of books?

No, she was just in the bathroom.

The other day, I had books to return after dinner at The Southern Sun, and I had the stroller with me. So Dave took Luke home, and Jack and I strolled to the library. I still had on my work clothes, so I was looking cute, it was a nice evening, and I was walking to the library after a dinner out with my toddler in the stroller. It felt very urban and sophisticated. Euro even.

In my mind, I have this idea of Jack and I casually picking out a stack of books and settling in to the kids area to read for a while. I think that would be fun. And we do always pick out some books, and then I start to find a nice place to sit and then I notice Jack is gone. But just for a second! There he is again, no need to panic. But now he doesn't want to sit, he wants to be read to while he stands. And why do you think that is? Because he just snuck into the stacks to poop. Every. Single. Time.

You'd think after the 4th time that happened, I would think to try to put him on the pot at the library as soon as we get there. Or at the VERY LEAST, bring a diaper and some wipes. But these casual trips to the library, so spur of the moment, so whimsical, never involve a diaper bag. So, just as soon as we have gotten there, we have to leave. Except now I have the stroller, and a pile of books, and have to walk a mile home, downwind of a diaper. In my work clothes and heels. Suddenly, it isn't so urban sophisticate. It's more harried housewife. And man, the smell.

I was fanning myself as we checked out, just to endure the stench, when the sympathetic librarian asked if it had been a long day. I had to come clean. She laughed and laughed. So did the other librarian who had overheard. They told me about their fabulous area for diaper changing. I confessed I did not have a diaper. They laughed and said, "we are glad he finds the library such a relaxing and comfortable place."

Yes, it is definitely time for Jack to start spending time in our personal library.

Safe From Sippy Cups

Part of MetaMegan 2.0 has to do with decreasing the amount of plastic in my life, and finding a substitute drinking "glass" made of something other than plastic that is also not going to break the first time it gets used. So far I haven't made any progress on that one. I think about it whenever a Crate and Barrel catalog graces my door. So, that's something.

This evening Lucy was looking out into the back yard when suddenly she got crazy! There was something in the backyard and she was gonna git it. I sort of cocked my head to the side, as my little girl has been known to do to consider the situation.

From 2010

If it's a cat or a squirrel, I want her to run out there and scare it out of the litter-sandbox and/or garden. If it's a bird, I want to avoid prying feathers out of her teeth. If it's a skunk... well I never want to go through that again. Squirrel? Skunk? Squirrel? Oh what the heck, I'll let her out and follow to see what it is. (Great plan if it's a skunk, right?) She took off! All the way to the other side of the patio table five feet away! Then she ran in circles! Then she charged! OMG! Retreat! Charge! Retreat! CHARGE! She GOT IT. It was one of two plastic cups that had blown off the table and were rolling around on the patio. So - I will be saved from the evils of plastic. Lucy will protect us all.

Dave's Bike Ride

The boys and I successfully completed our role as support crew for the Bailey Hundo. It was a long day, but it was a lot of fun. We mostly just drove around from one aid station to the next and cheered for Dave, and I think we did a great job! It was probably harder to mountain bike the 107 miles on a single speed, but I'll let Dave tell that story!

What Do You Think Of This

If you were in a training class and you asked a question, and the trainer told the following anecdote before answering your question... What would you think?

"I teach a lot of classes around the world, and I taught a class once in Egypt, and in Egypt they have a hierarchy about who is allowed to ask questions, and in what order. It wasn't obvious to me what the order was but everyone in the class knew it. So everyone takes their turn asking their questions when the more important, or senior people ask their questions. Then the last person that gets to ask a question is the woman."

So, what do you think?

Luke

From 2010

You know I am a lazy writer when I start off a blog post by asking my husband, "What has Luke done lately that is cute or hilarious?" I mean, it's bad enough that I mine my kids for material, but then I can't even remember the latest and greatest bon mots? Yup. That's how it is.

Oh, here is a hilarious thing my brother did when he was a kid! He and our cousin stuck suction cups to their foreheads. And do you know what happens when you stick a suction cup to your forehead? You get a suction cup shaped hickey. A nice, round target in the middle of your forehead. Rumor has it there is some irresistible force that attracts a suction cup to the forehead of young boys. Or not so young. I laughed and laughed when I went to a friend's house in high school and two of the boys there had big round purplish bruises in the middle of their foreheads.

Because I am a wonderful and caring mom, I have warned Luke not to stick a suction cup to his forehead, but he didn't listen. Poor kid. I had to grab the camera while I was re-warning him of the dangers. Next time I'll make sure to take notes too.

From 2010

Potty Training Update

How is potty training going? Just need to get him out of the corner and into the bathroom. That's all.

Then and Now: First Grade

Last year I posted a picture of Luke on the last day of kindergarten wearing the same shirt as the first day of kindergarten. So I thought, "What a fun tradition! I'll do that again this year."

You may remember the popped collars of the first day of First Grade:
Or maybe not, since I can't find a post about the first day of First Grade anywhere on this blog. Maybe it never happened? Alas, you may remember this picture from facebook.

Well, unfortunately for poor, long suffering Luke, this post is not as much about how he changed over the last school year as it is about how his brother went from cherub to attention seeking tyrant. Allow me to present:

Last Day of First Grade
It's all about Jack
A Photo Essay

From 2010

Ok - the camera is working. Luke, get in the picture!

From 2010

Jack - now one with just Luke. Luke, can you smile normally please? Jack - get out of the picture.

From 2010

OK - that's cute, how about one more?

From 2010

Jack!

From 2010

Just Luke please!

From 2010

From 2010

I give up!

From 2010

Bailey Hundo

My husband is soon to be an old man: 40 this year on his birthday. How is he celebrating? Beach vacation? European ski vacation? Weekend getaway with the wife? Big party? Nope. He's going to bike the Colorado Trail. It's a 500 mile trail from Denver to Durango.

If that is how Dave plans to celebrate his birthday, you might wonder what he plans to do for Father's day weekend. The answer is a hundred mile mountain bike race called the Bailey Hundo. The race raises money for worthy causes (Trips for Kids and Colorado High School Cycling League) so if you want to donate, please click here.

Originally we planned to camp somewhere in Bailey, until our Buffalo Creek camping trip this past weekend. After I cleaned up puke for the 5th time (Lucy x2, Jack x3) , and tried to hike with Luke, Jack and Lucy, (they go in 3 different directions and Jack wants to be carried) I started to dread our next trip. I'm not sure how long it takes to race 100 miles on a mountain bike, but I am pretty sure it's going to take longer than the amount of time I want to spend in a campground with that vomit-prone crew.

Se we are staying in a cabin! Glory be! I am so happy. Since we won't be camping in the van, I may be able to drive to some of the spectator spots along the race route. I'd love to post updates throughout the day, but I suspect cell phone internet access will be spotty.

In the meantime, follow Dave's training plan on his blog.

And FYI: I will be running a comment contest in July again this year, and I will be purchasing the prize on our Colorado Trail Vacation.

Go Dave!

Like Dis

This conversation just happened during a pre-nap diaper change:

Me: Hey we are camping this weekend, so you can just pee on a tree when you need to go to the bathroom.
Jack: I want to pee on a pink tree! Cuz a pink tree is so bootiful. And I could pee on it. Like dis: Peeeeeeeeeeee. And there might be lions there. In the forest. And we could pet them. Like dis: Pet, pet, pet, pet. But you'd say no. And I'd be a baby lion. And you'd be a momma lion. And we could punch each other like dis: punch, punch, punch. Ow! It's OK. Punch, punch. And storm troopers would come and we'd be on our speeders.

It sort of reminds me of a conversation we had earlier:

Me: Oh, lucky you. It looks like you get to go to the reservoir this summer with daycare!
Jack: I don't want to go der! Der's dinosaurs der. And dey might roar at me. Like dis: ROAR! Or dey might stomp der feet at me. Like dis: Stomp stomp stomp.

Also like a conversation we had the other day about Carrie Ann.

Jack: I say, "Can I have more guacamole?" And Carrie-Ma'am says "No." And then I say, "May I please have more guacamole?" And Carrie-Ma'am says, "Yes you may." And I get chips too! And I eat the guacamole like dis: Chomp chomp chomp.

Shall We Play A Game?

I've never had a list of things I want to accomplish without one of them having something to do with "getting in better shape", so I am sure you won't be surprised that MetaMegan 2.0 comes with an exercise plan. Or, the idea that an exercise plan should be developed at some point in time.

(Long boring section about how/why I never have time to exercise edited out. )

Today, I decided my best bet was to shower, get dressed for work (jeans/camisole/blouse) but throw on tennis shoes instead of heels and then take the puppy for a walk.

Where is this formerly long boring story going? It's going on a 3.48 mile walk/jog. I've been contemplating walking around a big trail near our house, but I never felt like I had time to do it because I didn't know how long it would take. Today I decided, what the hail? How long could it possibly take? Well, I knew it would take longer than I had time for, so I just decided to jog. In jeans and a blouse. No big deal, I just pretended it was the 80's and I was Ally Sheedy jogging over to Matthew Broderick's house in War Games. (Except I just googled "Ally Sheedy War Games" and it turns out she was wearing SWEATPANTS in the scene I was remembering. People jogged in jeans and kangaroos in the 80's right? Or was that the 70's?) Then I saw someone else and I thought it was my friend Jen. How embarrassing! Jen is going to make fun of me! What a relief when I figured out it wasn't her. Except whoever it was still gave me quite a disparaging look! How dare you jog in jeans and a blouse in Boulder, CO! Haven't you heard of Title 9, Prana, REI, Athleta, or Patagonia? What is wrong with you?!

But I did get exercise today! And a shower, and that is a rare combo. (Yeah the shower was before the exercise, but not daaaays before.)

In the end it was totally worth it because today Lucy looks like this:
Instead of this:


Or this:

What the Hail?

A miracle happened today: my camera, memory card, battery and laptop where all in the same place at the same time. Also, I felt like blogging. This has been a crazy year, and it's been difficult for me to be hilarious. I do, however, have a lot of material for my tragic memoir, which by the time I write it, will be tragically hilarious. But MetaMegan has been suffering, as I am sure dedicated readers have noticed.

Enter MetaMegan 2.0. I have a lot of exciting things planned for the rest of the year. I am sure many of them will turn out to disastrously, which will make for some good blogging.

Take our impromptu Saturday night dinner party! The pizza was in the oven when lightening struck and the power went out. It came back on right away and I said to our guests, "I hope we don't have a crazy hail storm like we did that other time you guys were here. Ha ha ha ha ha."



After I watched the hail for a really long time, I said, "THE PIZZA!"

The pizza wasn't burned because when the power went out the oven turned off. Sigh. I turned the oven back on and thought, "I'll just switch the bottom pizza with the top pizza while the oven heats back up. Except the bottom pizza (barbecue chicken) had sort of expanded beyond the pan, and grew around the oven rack. So when I pulled it out, half the pizza stayed in the oven. AAAHH! Pizza Disaster! I threw the pan on the counter to try to get the rest of the pizza out and in the process knocked over my wine glass, spilling wine across the counter and down the other side. My guest took off running, I assumed to laugh in the other room so as not to be rude, but actually it was to start cleaning wine off the wall across the room.

Since the oven was so cool by now, it was easy to get the rest of the pizza out and reassemble everything with delicious results. I'm on the come back trail here!

Potty Training

Jack likes to use the bathroom at The Med, Murphy's, The Rio, Coors Stadium, and other places that are not our house. (Well, our bathroom is an exciting destination at 2:00 am, or just after Jack has been put to bed.) I have a new theory on this: When we are out, it's obvious when a family member is going to use the bathroom because they excuse themselves and leave to go to the bathroom. Jack wants to go too. At home, it's not such a big deal, and not something Jack would notice and it isn't so exciting that he would want to join you. This is just a theory. But I am going to suggest to the rest of my family that everyone start making a big deal out of announcing that they are going to use the bathroom. We'll see how that goes.

But I wanted to share this: The second time I took Jack to the bathroom at Coor's field during the Rockies game on Saturday, I covered the seat with toilet paper, took of his shorts and diaper, sat him on the pot, etc etc. Then once he was dressed I quickly went to the bathroom. This time, instead of trying to open the door and escape, Jack just hung out and waited until I was finished. And then he loudly said, "Good Job Mommy! GOOD JOB!"