Once, some Thanksgiving or another, I was wondering where my Grandmother was and, when I asked, someone told me she was in the library. I wandered and wandered and I couldn't find her. I kept wondering which room was the library. How sophisticated! Was there a room in the house that I had never even seen? And it was full of books?
No, she was just in the bathroom.
The other day, I had books to return after dinner at The Southern Sun, and I had the stroller with me. So Dave took Luke home, and Jack and I strolled to the library. I still had on my work clothes, so I was looking cute, it was a nice evening, and I was walking to the library after a dinner out with my toddler in the stroller. It felt very urban and sophisticated. Euro even.
In my mind, I have this idea of Jack and I casually picking out a stack of books and settling in to the kids area to read for a while. I think that would be fun. And we do always pick out some books, and then I start to find a nice place to sit and then I notice Jack is gone. But just for a second! There he is again, no need to panic. But now he doesn't want to sit, he wants to be read to while he stands. And why do you think that is? Because he just snuck into the stacks to poop. Every. Single. Time.
You'd think after the 4th time that happened, I would think to try to put him on the pot at the library as soon as we get there. Or at the VERY LEAST, bring a diaper and some wipes. But these casual trips to the library, so spur of the moment, so whimsical, never involve a diaper bag. So, just as soon as we have gotten there, we have to leave. Except now I have the stroller, and a pile of books, and have to walk a mile home, downwind of a diaper. In my work clothes and heels. Suddenly, it isn't so urban sophisticate. It's more harried housewife. And man, the smell.
I was fanning myself as we checked out, just to endure the stench, when the sympathetic librarian asked if it had been a long day. I had to come clean. She laughed and laughed. So did the other librarian who had overheard. They told me about their fabulous area for diaper changing. I confessed I did not have a diaper. They laughed and said, "we are glad he finds the library such a relaxing and comfortable place."
Yes, it is definitely time for Jack to start spending time in our personal library.
3 comments:
Hilarious!I can't wait to come visit!
Aaaahhhhh, Jackie. The lure of the library is that there are lots of stacks - and that means no waiting for the standing pooper. One might say he's relaxed wherever he goes. And apparently, he goes wherever. And nothing grows where Jackie goes.....Plus there's plenty of paper....
I'm serious Megan...you need to publish a book!
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