Oh Blogspot, I hardly knew ye

I've moved to wordpress. Check out the new MetaMegan!

Update your links, subscribe to the new site!

See you soon for a house warming party at my new location.

Extreme Make Over - Blog Edition

I have a high school reunion that is just around the corner, and I had a 6 month plan to become fabulous before the big night. This plan mostly involved joining a gym and dragging myself there 3 times a week for the past 6 months. And I got my hair cut.

Zzzz. Oh, sorry, I was so bored I fell asleep. See also: tired from the gym.

But I decided to take a break from my constant self improvement plans to work on something else! A blog improvement plan. I thought I would start off first by blogging a lot, but then I thought, that's way too logical. First, I am going redo the whole blog, and THEN I will start blogging all the time. I'm in a hurry though because July is commenting month, and I need to have everything in place for all my awesome commentors. (Hi Laura(s)!)

First point of order:
Should I...
a.) Keep my current wonder woman graphic that I stole from the internet and cropped down to a smaller size. (Pro: Cute. Con:Stolen.)
b.) Use my facebook profile pic - (Pro: Cute, sort of anonymous, free advertizing for Jill since she took the picture. Con: Jack is in it. Would I crop him out, or photoshop Luke in?)
c.) Get someone to create a metamegan/wonderwoman one of a kind graphic. (Pro: Cute! Con: Who would do it?)
d.) Use a picture of myself as wonder woman? (Pro:Cute! Con: Horrifying if I become famous and everyone in the world sees it.)
e.) Other

Please leave your suggestion in the comments. Ha! Comment month is starting early!!!

Advice

I was really impressing myself on Sunday during my Target shopping trip with the advice I was giving myself, and since then.

1.) If all the cute dresses at target make you look like a giant whale wrapped in a tablecloth, consider purchasing cute workout gear instead.
2.) Don't try on dresses at Target, you have a job, shop somewhere fancier. You don't have time to go anywhere fancier, but that is a different story.
3.) If you buy darling new short workout shorts, just know that the day you wear them will be the day you are holding an exercise ball between your legs and waving your legs over your head. With a partner.

And now for some dubious advice from Jack:
1.) You don't need to wash your hands before you eat if you are eating outside.
2.) You should always wash your hands after you pick your nose.

This is all leading up to a money making idea that I had where I give awesome advice, but I am secretly a shill. I say, "You sound stressed. I find that a great way to relax is to build a photo book on shutterfly." Then I link to shutterfly. Ka-ching! Ad revenue.

I partially got this idea while brainstorming with my friend Laura (or one of my friends named Laura, as another friend named Laura pointed out). We thought maybe we could become nutritionists, or more realistically, quacks, and open a business where we tell people what to eat. She suggests "steamers" (Ka-ching!) I think steamers just increase the chance of running into work-weirdos in line at the microwave. I suggest biking to Whole foods for a salad. (Ka-ching! Ka-Ching!) I think conflicting advice will bring in the most ad revenue. And be the most pleasing for the readers. Who doesn't love conflicting advice on what to eat?

I can get lots of tips from this email that P&G sent me about how to improve my husband's health. Chock full of tips for people whose husbands are babies who can't take care of themselves, AND the useful things you can buy to make them healthier.

Don't worry, none of this will go into effect unless I quit or get fired from the job that pays me well enough to shop somewhere other than Target.

Second Grade, Then and Now

Luke on the first and last day of second grade.
You may also be interested in first grade, and kindergarden is here and here.

The Barbie Chronicles

If you are not friends with me on facebook, then you do not know about my alter ego, Computer Engineer Barbie. She has lots of adventures. Like, starting longingly out the window on a sunny Saturday while she tries to finish up a 60 hour work bender. Computer Engineer Barbie, or CEB, hasn't been this tired since she had a 2 day old baby.

It's Almost Alice Cooper Time

The countdown to the end of school is in full swing and we are all singing our favorite song: School's Out. Last year Luke was a precious first grader, who loved his teacher, so he was very unhappy about blowing the school to pieces, and teacher's dirty looks. Unfortunately, it's such a catchy tune, that it's really hard not to sing the refrain all morning before the last day of school. We tried to modify it a bit, but I can't remember what we came up with and I am too lazy/multi-taskery to look and see if I blogged about this last year.

But now that Luke is a too cool for school second grader, going on third grader in 5 days, he started the whole thing with a little Alice Cooper sing along before bed. Or maybe I started it. Regardless, I was very interested to hear what he had to say after, "I'll modify this song so it's more appropriate for me."

School's out for summer.
School's out for evah!
School's been blown to pieces.
No more pencils
Lots more books

Sigh. I just love my little bookworm.

On that note, did I mention that I updated the list of books read? (See above re: too lazy to look at yesterday's post.) Hopefully Luke and I will spend the whole summer reading, if I survive this weekend.

Where in the World is MetaMegan?

I am trying to wrest my life back from the cold dead hands of my job. Sometimes I have to work for hours and hours and have no time to blog. Sometimes I stay far away from my laptop to avoid working, and I can't blog then either. Sometimes I am working and watching TV, and my fave tv character, Leslie Knope, says the following:

"We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter. But work is third."

It's all clear to me now.

Opposite Day

I recently, and accidentally, told my boss he was the worst in an IM. In the third person. Almost as if I meant to say it to someone else. I ended up apologizing, but before that I worked on a couple excuses for my terrible faux pas. The best thing I could come up with was, "It's opposite day."

So I must have had opposites on the brain when we were camping in Moab because Jack and I got into a big discussion about opposite while we hung out waiting for the rest of our crew to be finished mountain biking. He wanted me to do something, maybe his shoe? Momma, do it! And I said something like, "well first I have to undo it. Then I can do it." He wanted to know what undo meant and I said it was the opposite of do. What does opposite mean? And so on.

So I just started giving him examples, and it went pretty well.
Me: What do you think the opposite of Up is?
Jack: Down
Me: Left?
Jack: Right.
Me: Day?
Jack:Night.
Me: White?
Jack: Soft. (He didn't get all of them right.)

But the best was when I asked him what the opposite of GOOD was. I was pretty confident he would get it, and I sat back, waiting for him to say bad. But you know what he said, right? He said EVIL.

Late Fees

As I said yesterday, I am very excited that Luke has gotten so into reading. Coincidentally, or not, Jack is also really into reading. He likes to say that he can read chapter books, even though he is only five. Which is very interesting for a 3 year old who can't read. I've been humoring him, and I have to admit I was mildly shocked/disturbed when he pointed to a big advertisement at the gas station and correctly said, "That says Pringles."

So now Luke and I have our "people who love to read" bond, and Jack and I have our "people who love to go to the library" bond. Fortunately for me, he no longer likes to go there just to poop. Luke was never too excited about the library, and every time we went he just picked out two Curious George books and then wanted to leave. To this day, I cringe when I see that shelf full of yellow. But Jack always wants to go, and there is often a heated discussion about whether we should go to the one by our house or the Main Branch. I am sure you can see where this is going. We have been checking out a million books, and I have been working 20 hour days, completely missing Easter, and not having any time for reading. So we have some late fees. As part of my plan to get my life back, Jack and I went to the library last night. I returned all the books except one, and I am embarrassed to even type this: Lose your Mummy Tummy. Women of Boulder are currently being deprived of this method (The Tuppler Method) for shrinking their waistlines because I have the book that they have been waiting for for months. I thought I would give it one last shot, and last night as I picked it up I thought, if I don't have time to read this book, I bet I don't have time to do the 1000 reps of the simple exercises that you can do anywhere anytime. The premise of the book is that pregnancy, and doing regular situps improperly can cause a separation of the stomach muscles called diastasis. Apparently that happens to 98% of moms, and unless you close that gap, your waist won't get any smaller no matter how many sit ups you do. There is actually a class you can take in Boulder, and when I was looking around at the beginning of the year for some different form of exercise, I thought about taking the class. Specifically, I tried to get a friend to take the class and then tell me how to do the exercises. My main reason for not signing up was the emphasis on "no matter how many sit ups you do" angle. It might matter if that number is 0, right? Also the classes seemed to be during times when I am busy, such as during a work day.

Short story long, I skipped over a very disturbing drawing of a grocery bag with groceries falling out the bottom that seemed to have something to do with what will happen to you if you don't do kegels, and I just read the part about how to diagnose how bad your diastasis is. And guess what? I am one of the lucky 2% of moms who do not have this problem. Maybe it's because I am genetically blessed, or maybe it's because I am just now trying to lose my mummy tummy (shudder) 3.5 years after having my last baby. Regardless, I can happily categorize myself with the women who are just in need of some exercise, and a significant reduction in ECI. (Easter Candy Intake.) The book goes back today.

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

It's All Greek To Me

Recently, Luke read a book that sparked an obsession with reading. It is called Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief. I have very vivid memories about the first book I read that turned the switch for me from someone who knew how to read into someone who loved to read. I was in fourth grade when I read A Wrinkle in Time, and I can remember where I set it down on the book shelf in the living room when I needed to stop reading and eat dinner. And I remember being in the backyard thinking about the characters, and imagining the book in my head. So it has been very fun for me to watch Luke have a similar experience with his first book obsession. When I read the Amazon reviews of the first book, it seemed targeted at older kids, so I read it too, because I am a good parent. I liked it! There is a lot of adventure, and Greek Mythology, and it's exciting, and funny. I love that Luke is learning so much about Greek Mythology. I used to have a book called, It's Greek to Me, because I always thought I would be a better person if I knew about Greek Mythology. But I don't recall reading it, just sort of occasionally noticing it on my shelf. I told Luke about it and he was quite annoyed that I don't still have the book. Although now that I am reading the description, I think I probably got it to study up on my greek roots as SAT prep. (Lame!) But I know more about Greek Mythology now, from reading just one Percy Jackson book, and discussing the rest with Luke every day, than I ever did. And that is very cool.

The funny thing is that I kept saying Luke was too young for Harry Potter. But one of the reviews I read on Amazon described Percy Jackson as something like a less earnest Harry Potter. I found that to be funny. I let the whole Harry Potter phenomenon pass me by, so I think it will be fun to read the books with Luke when he finishes this series. He had the last book checked out from the school library, and he was forced to return it because I guess the library starts to close down a month before school ends. He was devastated and convinced that when he gets another copy (friends have promised to loan it) it will take his entire independent reading time to find the page he was on. We might have to head to the regular library (or Main Branch as Jack says) to get the last book and get a head start on figuring out where he left off.

Computer Engineer Barbie

Computer Engineer Barbie and I worked about 40 hours over Easter weekend. Today, she is trying out the new "standing desk" craze that she's been reading about. I am sitting on my bottom and thinking of new career options. Pizza chef, perhaps?

Meg's Egg

The last month was a bad egg. But I am changing my attitude starting today.

Opening Day

Today was opening day, and Coach Dave and his Mets were great! I didn't get to take too many pictures, because my fingers were frozen. But I promise more as the season progresses, and the temperature rises above the point where people are getting their sleeping bags out of the car and huddling together for warmth. Dave was mentioning the other day, that I rarely blog about Luke, who can read, and knows about my blog, but I often blog about Jack. The thing is, Jack turned green today after... wait - this is about Luke. Luke is a great kid, who is easy going, easy to get along with, happy, smart, and fun. He's fun to be around and I am proud of who he is. And I love when Jack does or says something ridiculous, and I can just look at Luke and see him rolling his eyes. Today during the tantrum of the millennium, Luke tried to make Jack laugh. Long story short, Luke is so great, he's not great blog fodder. Plus, I get the distinct impression that he would not be happy if I made fun of him on my blog, by calling him by today's nickname: Ankles. Who knew he would grow 3 inches since last summer? All I know is, if he were Jack he'd be saying, "Who has 2 thumbs and needs bigger cleats and longer baseball pants? This guy!"

Lunch Ladies: Cafe Aion

It has been a while since Laura and I had lunch at Cafe Aion, so I'll try to remember all the important details.

When we walked in, the host greeted us, and we were taken aback by how snappily he was dressed. Laura thought maybe we weren't in Boulder anymore. It was a double visual fashion assault though, because someone leaving the restaurant was wearing some sort of (static) clingy satin/silk dress and fishnets. We were seated in sort of a window seat, which was nice for about 2 minutes until my core temperature rivaled that of the sun's. Fortunately, at that point the shady table next to us opened up, and we scooted over.

I already knew I was going to order the Butternut Squash Soup with wild rice, almonds and Parmesan. I had had a taste at Andrea's house, and it was so good, I wanted more. (Cafe Aion posts some of their recipes on their blog!) Also it had been a long, cold winter and I had been craving a lot of soup. I decided to ignore the fact that it was 70 degrees that day and I was wearing way too many clothes to be sitting in a window. (That doesn't sound right.) Laura got the soup too, and we split the Aion Fried Cauliflower with saffron yogurt, cumin and lemon.

I had also had the cauliflower before and I thought it was delicious. Not as delicious as the chicken wings, but I couldn't convince Laura to order chicken wings because she thinks they are disgusting. (Also - I do not see chicken wings on the Day Menu.) When the cauliflower came out, I immediately started devouring it. Fried=yummy. That's my policy. But Laura said the overall browness of the dish made it seem sort of yucky to her. She said at Cafe Aion, she had more of a "Yum, I'll try this!" attitude than if her husband served her a plate of brown cauliflower. I do have to admit, it isn't pretty, but I thought it was good. Later in the afternoon though, it made me feel sort of stomach-achy.

But on to the soup. It is so so so good. I was going to say that it is also incredibly filling, but maybe the fried cauliflower had something to do with my overall full stomach. Laura was surprised that the soup had chunks of butternut squash, since a lot of squash soups are more of a puree. Good point Laura! It is a soup with a lot of good textures, and flavors, and it came with a lot of soft yummy bread.

We were both happy with our meal, but we also had food envy from staring at some neighboring tables, so we will be back. I will just make sure to dress (fashionably) in layers.

How about the new title? Lunch Ladies, get it? Or should I go back to Ladies Who Lunch?

Jackisms

Eventually, I will blog about our awesome vacation, but first I want to talk about the McDonald's PlayPlace. (We went twice, so the kids could get exercise during the road trip. And so that we could eat.) Say what you want about the evils of McDonalds, but it's a great place to run around and burn off some energy when you have been in the car forever. That is, until some gigantic family swarms, swarms, swarms. With their giant kids, and brothers and sisters and cousins, with the yelling and the blocking of the slide, and chasing, and general roughhousing. This same thing happened at both McDonalds stops. And both times Luke retreated to another area, while Jack got trapped somewhere by the swarm. In Kayenta, Arizona, I just sent Luke in after Jack and we left when things got out of hand. But in Albequerque, New Mexico, I guess Jack had learned a thing or two. We were ready to leave, and Luke was avoiding the swarm, and Jack was trapped at the end of the line for the slide, three stories up, behind a never-ending line of cutters. I was about to send Luke after him, but first I just yelled up there, "Jack! Just come down the slide!" Next thing I knew, he had pushed to the front of the line, and as he slid down, this is what echoed out both ends of that tubular slide: "BUH BYE SUCKAS!!!" Other Jack vacation moments: I filmed an interview with him, asking what his favorite part of vacation was. Pointing to himself he said, "This guy." Speaking of Jack pointing to himself, a few weeks ago, on the way home from Eldora, he pointed at each person in the car and said the following, "You're a skier, you're a snowboarder, you're a snowboarder, and I'm a skier." Still pointing to himself and looking down at his finger, and nodding vigorously he said, "Yeah! That's right, finger!'

Reach For The Sky!

Before we went on vacation, we had been watching a lot of Toy Story 3. And by that I mean, I think I (we) watched it 3 times in 2 days. Jack was horribly ill with cough that sometimes made him throw up, and there was a lot of snuggling and TV watching going on. I cried the first time, but managed to hold it together during the ending the last 2 times I watched it.

Long intro to say, that I just realized I watched a lot of TV as a child. And by, "just realized" I mean, "I have always known". There were a lot of movies that we had on tape, once I was in high school and we had a VCR. So that explains why I know all the words to some random movies that we happened to record. But why, (really, why??) would I have an episode of Laverne and Shirley memorized? I am sure we didn't have it on tape? But I know it was something that I used to quote all the time with my brother and sister. (Even though, in my preliminary blog post research today, they both had no idea what I was talking about.)

Short story long, when Jack started quoting Woody, of Toy Story 3 fame, by saying, "Reach for the sky!" I couldn't stop myself from saying, "You wouldn't dare....!"

I tried to get Dave to help me remember the origin of that famous quote, but he ignored me. I was able to place the quote into a Laverne and Shirley episode, and when I googled "Laverne and Shirley Reach for the Sky" I came up with the following.

I probably saw this episode when? 25 years ago? And it stuck in my head for what reason? I'll tell, you. It's comic gold. I can even remember being disappointed that when the cousin says, "You wouldn't dare" he doesn't say it with the right inflection. But now, 25 years later, I think it's perfect. And the best part is, when I showed it to the boys, they laughed and laughed. And now whenever one of them says, "Reach for the sky," I know the other will answer with "You wouldn't dare."

Black Swan Parenting

At some point during Black Swan, I asked myself, "At what point does a child need to start cutting their own fingernails?" So far I have narrowed it down to somewhere between 3 and when they become a prima ballerina. In the meantime, it's a weekly struggle between Jack and me. We recently came to the agreement that after every bath, I can cut one toe's worth of toe nails. But the deal has to be renegotiated every time.

After tonight's bath, Jack was running around the house in his towel pretending that it was a cape, as 3 year olds are wont to do. I could tell he was stalling, but I wasn't in a hurry so I let it play out. He finally came back into the bathroom and said, "Oh. I realize why I was tricking you by running around. It's because I don't want my nails to be cut."

Thanks for sharing that bit of self-discovery Jack.

Then, when I was promising it wouldn't hurt, he said, "It WILL hurt. Because of gravity. Gravity makes things fall down. I learned that on Sesame Street yesterday. See? Gravity, I told you."

Little Old Man

Poor baby Jack is quite ill, with a terrible cough, runny nose, headache and fever. I tried twice to put Dr. Burts Res-Q ointment on his nose, which I have always found to be amazingly effective in the past for reducing pain and redness and clearing up the sinuses.

The first time he wouldn't let me come near him, but the second time, he was more resigned. I put the ointment on his nose and with a sigh, and a shrug, he said,

"See? I knew it wouldn't work."

I said, "When did you become such a pessimist?"

With another shrug, he said, "When I growed up."

My poor little baby is all growed up, and he growed up to be a pessimist. Sigh.

****************************************************

There was more to his story after that, but since he has laryngitis and a tendency to ramble on and on, I didn't catch it all. I know there was something in there about how he growed up to be a gentleman, and isn't Darth a really weird first name? How do you get to be named Darth?

The Day it All Fell Apart

Just need to record this conversation in case I ever wonder, "Where did I go wrong?"

I am working, and I am burned out, and Jack is home with me, and he doesn't want to nap. An hour after I put him down, I heard the garage door open, and I though it was Dave. Then I heard the sound of little feet running from room to room. Contrary to the to implications of the High School Varsity Cross Country Jacket that I can see from where I am sitting right now, Dave is not a runner, so I got up to investigate.

It was Jack, and we had the following conversation:

Jack: I don't want to nap.
Me: You have to
Jack: I promise I won't be grouchy
Me: You said that last time.
Jack: If I am grouchy, you can just get me a class of water and I will not be grouchy.
Me: OK, You don't have to nap, but you have to go to your room for quiet time.
Jack: OK.
Jack: Can I be loud?
Me: Sure.

And scene.

Ladies Who Lunch: Dish

Today was scheduled to be the much anticipated Cafe Aion, but the forces of darkness worked against me. The first problem was that I only blocked an hour off my calendar and ended up with meetings scheduled right up to noon and starting again at 1:00. Not enough time to speed across town, park, order, eat and get back. The second force of darkness was what we in the IT field call a TOTAL NIGHTMARE. That's the technical term for when you finally get a bunch of users in your new system and everything crashes, and 50 people send you a message about it, and 49 of those messages say, "I am seeing the same problem, can you email me when it's fixed?" If Bill Gates were to do one thing for humanity, it would be do remove the Reply All button from Microsoft Outlook.

Fortunately, I used my mad troubleshooting skillz to determine that the DATA disk group wasn't mounted on RAC02, and it was operator error (not mine) and it was fixed around 12:15 (as my 11-12 meeting ended) at which point I sent an email that all was well and was shortly seen fleeing from the building.

What to do, what to do, when you have Cafe Aion on the brain and 30 minutes for lunch? Well, we just went to the next place on the illustrious list of places where Ladies want to Lunch.

Dish.

Of course, we didn't decide that on the spot, I had plan B in my back pocket all along, and I instructed Laura to study the menu and plan ahead so as not to waste time in line. But I couldn't decide what I wanted. The Piglet? Cute/horrifying name. BLAT? So predictable/delicious? Salad? Too diet friendly. I was a little amped up on caffeine and Laura suggested that maybe I needed a trip to the ladies room, but I insisted it was just stress and coffee that was making me so annoyingly jittery. I decided to get half an Italian sandwich, and made a spur of the moment decision to upgrade from chips to a side salad.

My sandwich was really good, especially the mozz and pepperoni part. The ambiance, on the other hand, was terrible. But that was probably because we went back to work and ate in the break room. Dish has a few places to sit, but we didn't have time to linger, and if we did, people waiting for their to-go lunch would have been standing right by our table talking about RAC02, and being jittery. But we enjoyed eating together even when Randy Randoms walked through the break room and bugged us. I was a little worried because with 2 bites of my half sandwich to go, I was still starving. But by the time I finished my salad, I felt like I might live. Then I ate a random muffin from the break room leftover table, so I can't say for sure if the lunch was filling enough.

Laura had the Bloody Good Salad, which looked good, if you are the type of person who likes hard boiled eggs, and an M&M cookie, which she said was gooey and had lots of sugar and almond extract, and was sooo good. I have to admit, I am sort of fantasizing about that cookie right now.

Weekly Photo

I made hot pretzels a few weeks ago, and they were fantastic. (Maybe I will not put Jack in charge of the salt next time.) I used the leftover dough to make bagels another night and those were also amazing. The recipe is from Artisan Bread in (significantly more than) Five Minutes a Day.

From Blog pix

Ladies Who Lunch

A looong time ago, Dave and I went out to lunch at The Kitchen and it was fantastic. I was observing two old biddies at lunch a few tables away and imagining that it would be me and my friend Laura in five 30 years. Then a light bulb went off. Start going out to lunch now!

Of course at the time, Laura was busy eating a bag of microwaved frozen veggies for lunch every day and she couldn't be persuaded to go out. Not even the frequent and repeated gagging sounds I made every time she described her lunch could change her mind. She says, "Who doesn't like something hot for lunch?" I was almost won over by microwaved frozen veggies, when suddenly, Laura had a change of heart. Cue tears of joy.

I've been trying to think of some regular features to have here at MetaMegan since I haven't been able to write about iworkallthetimepottytrainingistheworstseriouslytheywantmetocancelmyvacationsoIcanwork-moremydogisagrumpygrowlerwahwahwah or "poop" for short.

All I had come up with prior to my restaurant reviews, was a weekly picture from my phone, so WOAH! all of a sudden I have a couple ideas for a few posts per week. YEA!

The best part is that my idea for the lunch reviews is two fold. The first part is where I am ecstatic that I left work, and I had a glass of wine and delightful conversation at lunch. All the praise is glowing, I am full and happy. The second part will be called, In retrospect, and that's when I will eat leftovers and think about what was wrong with my meal.

Nutshell version to get caught up...
Ladies Who Lunch:
The dough/crust at Pizzeria Basta is amazing. The prix fixe lunch ($10.00 for soup or salad, pizza or calzone) was a good amount of food for the price. Half glass of wine for $3.00! I had the soup (roasted red pepper/tomato) and the margarita pizza. I had so much fun, and I forgot all my troubles.
In Retrospect:
I'm on a diet, so I could drink a jar of tomato sauce and think it was delicious. And that is sort of how I felt about the soup. And by jar, I mean can, because it tasted a little metallic. It was really good though. But a little metallic. And I really want to be the type of person who thinks cheese is not that important on a pizza, and for my diet, the small circle of cheese on each slice was probably the best for my calorie count, but I was surprised at how little cheese there was on my pizza. I felt myself looking longingly at Laura's calzone, which looked like it had more to it. Also, the menu used colons in very bizarre ways that made it really hard to read. They need a proofreader for their menu for sure. (The online menu does not seem as confusing.)

Lastly, this is not the fault of Pizzeria Basta, but I was telling Laura about a facebook friend who seems to rarely be at work, and spends all his/her time at the beach or on vacation. I was speculating that he/she made it big in the dot com era or something and she said, maybe he/she is just someone who rarely works. Or someone who has days off, like a waiter. And I said, "Yes! That explains everything! He/She is just a waiter!!!" And of course I said that just as the waiter came to our table, and then I felt like an ass.

In short - I would go back for the wine, and to try a different pizza to see it was cheesier, because it was a nice lunch and 1000 times better than being at work, and I have heard great reviews from other people, but not before I cross a bunch of other places off my list.

Coming soon... Cafe Aion!


P.S. Ladies Who Lunch is a work in progress title. When Dave found out this was going to be a weekly thing he wasn't pleased. And he wanted in on some of the lunch action. So sometimes it might be Ladies Who Lunch + Dave. Or something. I thought he was objecting on grounds that it was too expensive a habit, but then I told him if he comes with us, it's just that much more expensive.

Sleepover

There is always going to be someone who gets upset at a sleepover, but this was a new one. Jack came upstairs after everyone had been in bed for a while, and he was so sad. He put on his tragic face and said, pitifully, "I want to giggle with Stella, but Stella isn't giggling."

Dog Interpreter

When I was little, I once told my parents that I knew what my grandparent's dog was thinking. It wasn't earth shattering, I just told them the dog wanted to go out. They asked how I knew that and I said, "He said, ruff ruff, I want to go out."

They laughed and they laughed. And laughed. Still a funny story, 36 years later.

Yesterday I was wondering what I was thinking when I said that. Was I incredibly bored at my grandparents house and looking for something interesting to do? Could I actually read the dog's mind? Was I very precocious and adorable? A big fat liar?

And why was I contemplating this? Oh, just a little something Jack said,

"Mommy. Lucy says she wants to watch the Empire Stripes* Back. Right Lucy? Yeah, she says she does."


* Not a typo.

Ralphie, I Can't Get Up

This is how I have been feeling lately:

From Blog pix

In place of layers and layers of clothes, it's piles and piles of work. Then I was going to turn this debbie downer blog post around and end with a glorious sledding video, but I can't get the size right on the video. Very Frustrating!! Argh!!!

OK - I should at least be able to come up with a funny Jack story. OK, so tonight I was reading to Luke while Dave was sitting in the bathroom for hours and hours with Jack helping him figure out how to use the leap pad while he (he=Jack, hope that's obvious) tried to poop on the potty. Luke and I had finished an entire Magic Treehouse book before they even made it downstairs to brush teeth. Jack was refusing to submit to the toothbrush, and I heard the dreaded Count To Three. At three, Jack lost his bedtime story privileges. Jack's response:

"No stories? Just cuddling?"

File Under: Neglectful Parenting

This is one of those stories I shouldn't share because it makes me look like a bad parent, but here goes.

Today, Jack decided to go to the bathroom all on his own and told us about it afterwords. I was so proud (and surprised)! And when I asked for details about how he did it, he said, "Oh, I just left the door open and just listened to the TV for a minute."

What a problem solver!

Self Esteem, Check!

Today Jack pooped on the potty. I don't know why but I just said, "Great!" instead of singing the song and doing the dance. I was running around with the dog in the back yard yesterday and I tripped over the sprinkler line, flew through the air and landed far away on my side. That might explain my forgetfulness regarding the poop song, and my lack of desire to do the death defying poop dance celebration. No worries, Jack had his own congratulatory session.

"I pooped on the potty and that's impressive. It's incredible. And awesome. It's incredibly awesome."

This is going to sound sort of petty and mean, but I couldn't help but think, "He sure has an impressive vocabulary for someone who frequently craps in his pants."

Lessons, Learned

When you come home from daycare with a plastic bagged filled with a pair of underwear filled with a big turd, your first instinct might be to deal with it immediately, have a drink and forget it ever happened for 24 hours until the same thing happens again.

Word to the wise: Take off your coat and scarf first. Never lean over the toilet to deal with turd filled underwear (henceforth referred to as The Situation) while wearing a beautiful scarf. I can't stress this enough people. While you are taking off your hat and scarf, pour yourself a drink and savor it for 15 minutes and then deal with The Situation. Just don't wait so long that your spouse says, "Did you leave The Situation in the bathroom for me to deal with?" Relax everyone, there will be enough to go around.

Today, In Potty Training

The other day, Jack sat on the potty before nap, and then I put a diaper on him and pulled up his pants. I am trying to keep him in pants that are easy-on/easy-off on the off chance he decides to try to go on his own. We had gone through a few pairs, so the ones he had on were too big and had to be rolled at the waist.

He immediately commenced pre-nap procrastination/fit-throwing.

"Eeeeeh. My PANTS. They aren't UP!"

"Yes they are, honey. Here, I'll straighten them."

"THEY AREN'T UP."

"It probably just feels funny to wear a diaper after having underwear on all day."

"NO!!!! MY PANTS aren't UP. I can't WALK."

"Yes, you can, come on downstairs."

And so on, for the five minutes it took him to walk down to his bedroom. He even stopped once to lean way over to try to figure out what the problem was and almost toppled down the stairs. I grabbed him by the shirt and carried him the rest of the way.

I almost lost my temper, but I am reading a book about happiness and I had a vague memory of some piece of advice and I thought, why lose your temper? So I took a deep breath and said, "OK, maybe I got your diaper on crooked, let me take a look."

And what did I see? Diaper was fine, pants were fine, but I hadn't taken off his underwear and they were around his knees.

I burst into hysterical laughter, and fortunately, he did too.

After nap he said, "Remember before nap, how we were giggling? That was funny."

Here is How It's Done

I was reading stories at bedtime tonight and I was on auto pilot so when Jack said, "Dat what you training me to do?", I said, "Uh? Potty training, what?" But he was pointing to this picture and saying, "When people are bothering me, you are training me to just walk away."

And yes, that was my brilliant parenting advice. Instead of hitting or yelling, just walk away! Please feel free to use this advice.

Name the book for bonus points!

Oh Lucy, Oh Girl

Jack and Lucy are basically litter mates, and they have a very special relationship. Jack likes to pet her, and say, "Oh Lucy, Oh girl." It's nice when the two of them are being adorable at the same time, because at the other end of the spectrum, I am cleaning up poop and trying to determine whose it is through forensic analysis. But that's a story for another day.

The other day when Jack delayed using the potty until it was too late, I said, "Didn't Daddy and I both tell you you needed to try?" And he said, "Well, Lucy told me just to go in my underwear." I said, "Well, who are you supposed to listen to? Daddy and I? Or Lucy?" He said, "Daddy." Ok, close enough. Because Lucy is far from an authority on potty training.

There are obvious benefits to Jack being potty trained, but those won't be realized for a few weeks, at the very minimum. So I am trying to see bright sides on a daily basis. So far, all I have come up with is that if I am doing so much laundry, then I might as well start my New Year's resolution of using cloth napkins all the time. But... that makes it sound like I am washing the cloth napkins with the dirty underwear, and I swear I am not doing that. I am just in the laundry room a lot more often. Seriously.

So, while I am deep in the trenches of this last rite of babyhood, at least we can have a little sophistication at the dinner table. And we are saving the environment too. Yup, potty training is the best thing ever.

Adventures in Potty Training

Man, once I can reflect back on this, there are going to be some funny funny stories. Yup. Some day.

Origami Yoda

A month or so ago, Luke spent an afternoon writing to authors of the books he was reading. One was to Tom Angleberger, the author of The Strange Case of Origami Yoda. The letter was something like,

Dear Mr. Angleberger,

I really like The Strange Case of Origami Yoda because of all the details.

Sincerely,
Luke

I said, "Do you care to elaborate on that?"
Luke said, "Nope."
I said, "Because, if you really like details...."
Luke, "Please hand me an envelope."

This week, a letter arrived for Luke. I said, "Luke, you got some mail." Luke said, "Who is it from?" while barely turning his head away from his wii game. I sighed, because that sort of question makes me feel a tiny bit like Luke's secretary, but I said, "I don't know, the return address looks like a puzzle piece."

He was across the room, shouting, "Remember when I wrote to the author of Origami Yoda!" and ripping open the envelope. It was pretty darn exciting.

We took a bunch of pictures of Luke with Origami Yoda on his finger, including this one, with my new photobooth app.

Birthday Cake

I am happy to report that it has been 10 days since my birthday and I have not lost my phone, I have remembered to charge it every night, and I have remembered to bring it to work with my everyday. This is a miracle. But, um, this is mostly because I am obsessed with my phone and I pnly put it down to charge it at night. I had a franklin planner until December of 2010, so it's sort of a big leap for me into the digital age.

Now, my new camera is another story. It had been lost for 10 days. I knew I took a picture of my cake, so I knew it was in the house... but where? It turns out that it was just safely inside my new, gorgeous, and larger purse. Without the franklin planner, it is so darn roomy in there! Needless to say, I found my camera today, and blogging will now commence.

Don't worry, I added blogging to the "to do list" app on my new phone. I also have the mobile blogging app, but that is best for pictures, I can't go on and on and on like I normally do. (Yet.)

Details - My cake was the no bake icebox cake that Grandma used to make. I ran across it here, and decided it looked great. I made the whipped cream, and the boys helped me stack. I see now that I should have considered offsetting the layers. We had leftover ganache from Grandpa's Traditional Spice Cake with Chocolate Icing, so we threw in a few layers of ganache here and there. It was delish.

Beautiful Day

Huff and Puff

Jack and I tried to make a video of The Big Bad Wolf, and it turned into a series of outtakes, as you would expect. We had huffing and puffing in one, but not "I'm gonna huff, and I'm gonna puff!". In another, we had the dialog, but no action. This one is the best, it has action and a scary wolf face, but no dialog. But I think it gets the message across.

Testing 1 2 3

Testing my mobile blogging capabilities here!